Monday, January 21, 2008

Rainbow Connections by Irma Rodriguez

(We're never alone on our journey; so, it makes sense that others would have stories to tell. Here's a recent contribution from a gal in our Mosaic family.)
I have always been a seeker. Always trying to look for answers. Trying to find answers to the problems of humanity, trying to find the meaning of life, trying to find God. Trying to connect to something bigger than myself. This song from Kermit the Frog seems to sum it up for me.

Why are there so many
Songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbow's are visions.
They're only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some chose to
Believe it,
But I know they're wrong. Wait and see.
Someday we'll find it,
The Rainbow Connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
Who said that every wish
Would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that
And someone believed it
And look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing
That keeps us star gazing?
What so we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it
That Rainbow Connection
The lovers the dreamers and me.
Have you been half asleep
And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Are these the sweet sounds that called
The young sailors?
I think they're one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
There's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow Connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

I was born a Catholic and began my search. I learned about the God who created heaven and earth and my mind grabbed onto that image of God (and His blessed mother, Mary) and held it tightly like a closed fist. I thought if I just held on to my faith, I would find the connection and find peace. But, I did not. So, I left the Catholic church and opened my hand and my mind and I began my search again.

As a teenager, I learned that Jesus saves and caught a new glimpse of God and I knew this was it, so I held on as tightly as I could. Satan tried to shake my faith, and challenged my fundamental beliefs, but I was strong. I knew if I just held on long enough, I would feel the connection and feel the joy. But in the end, I did not. So I reluctantly opened my hand. And I thought, maybe there was nothing to find.

But I kept looking and this time, I was not going to close my hand until I was sure I caught the image of the true God. I read books about philosophy, other world religions, books about the meaning of life. I looked around the world to try and understand humanity and what we all are really doing here. I tried to really listen to the voice of God and the voice of man.
And then I heard.

I mean, I realized I had been hearing all along, but had not recognized. I heard it from everywhere. I heard it from music, books, philosophers, world leaders, from Jesus, Budda, Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr., from babies, grandmas, friends, neighbors, from trees, sunsets, puppies, from the ocean, stars and the rainbow.

And what did I hear?

I heard faith, peace, joy, hope, forgiveness, mercy, longsuffering, kindness and love. Most of all I heard love. God is love and God is everywhere and God is everything,
God is you and God is me. And my hand will stay open forever catching different glimpses of God coming from all the inner universe of minds to the outer regions of the universe and beyond.